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Post by day dreamer on Nov 15, 2015 1:57:35 GMT
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Post by Admin on Nov 15, 2015 2:01:01 GMT
BYE!
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Post by day dreamer on Nov 15, 2015 4:41:28 GMT
What the fuck just happened here?
lol
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Post by lordcarson on Nov 15, 2015 6:11:25 GMT
What the fuck just happened here? lol i think you mean "wtf the fuck happened here" |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2015 6:32:39 GMT
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box." The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!" The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!" This isn't lame, this is good! |
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Post by breakfest on Nov 15, 2015 11:38:05 GMT
My thread...my beautiful thread...
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Post by breakfest on Nov 15, 2015 11:42:02 GMT
I asked my North Korean friend how he was doing the other day.
He said "Ah you know, I can't complain".
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Post by Basil on Nov 15, 2015 11:51:24 GMT
Two sperms are swimming along. The first starts to cry.
"What's wrong?" asks the second one. "Aren't you happy that we are finally on our mission, after all the training and waiting?" - "No!" lamented the first. "Maybe you weren't paying attention during anatomy class, but that was the epiglottis we just passed!"
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2015 12:37:38 GMT
Two sperms are swimming along. The first starts to cry. "What's wrong?" asks the second one. "Aren't you happy that we are finally on our mission, after all the training and waiting?" - "No!" lamented the first. "Maybe you weren't paying attention during anatomy class, but that was the epiglottis we just passed!" I had to google what's epiglottis. But I've heard this one in Finnish. |
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Post by breakfest on Nov 17, 2015 0:27:33 GMT
Dalai Lama walks up to a hot dog stall.
"What would His Holiness like?"
"Make me one with everything"
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2015 0:30:56 GMT
Dalai Lama walks up to a hot dog stall. "What would His Holiness like?" "Make me one with everything" There's a followup to this too.
The Dalai Lama pays in bills and says, "Can I have my change?"
And the guy at the hot dog stand smirks and says, "Change only comes from within."
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Post by breakfest on Nov 17, 2015 0:35:03 GMT
Dalai Lama walks up to a hot dog stall. "What would His Holiness like?" "Make me one with everything" There's a followup to this too.
The Dalai Lama pays in bills and says, "Can I have my change?"
And the guy at the hot dog stand smirks and says, "Change only comes from within."
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Post by 7timesdamnedshewolf on Nov 17, 2015 2:39:09 GMT
A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth." The dentist asks, "But why did you come to my office?". The guy says, "The light was on."
Did you hear about the dyslexic bipolar agnostic? She was in two minds about whether there's a Dog.
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Post by day dreamer on Nov 23, 2015 19:52:58 GMT
I met a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds funny, dozen tit?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2015 22:19:18 GMT
Roose is a zygote.
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Post by breakfest on Nov 24, 2015 12:24:56 GMT
Went to this wildlife park the other day. The only thing there was a dog.
Was a shih tzu.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2015 15:33:09 GMT
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked,
"What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Obama's clock?"
"His clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
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Post by Basil on Dec 2, 2015 15:17:56 GMT
What would you say to a muppet if you wanted to break up with him?
I'm fisting another.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2015 18:53:45 GMT
You know what I find odd?...
Numbers that aren't divisible by 2.
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Post by breakfest on Dec 2, 2015 22:59:25 GMT
What would you say to a muppet if you wanted to break up with him? I'm fisting another.  Well that was unexpected. |
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