Lame jokes! Get your lame jokes here!

At first glance I though the guy in cosca's new avatar had a dildo photoshopped on his face, but after a closer look I noticed it was just a slug. How disappointing. Still looks like a dildo, though.

woahh atreyu don't tell us all your lame jokes at once, you gotta save some

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized with her and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Ya got any grapes?"

The bartender replies, "No, we don't have any grapes. This is a bar, and we don't serve ducks anyway."

The duck walks away but returns to the same bar the next day and says, "Ya got any grapes?"

The bartender replies, "No, we don't have any grapes. I told you yesterday that we didn't have grapes and that we didn't serve ducks. Now get out of here!"

On the third day, the duck returns again. He walks up to the bartender and says, "Ya got any grapes?"

The bartender is fed up with the grape-loving duck by now, so he tells the duck, "We don't have grapes, we don't serve ducks, and if you come in here again, I'm going to nail your feet to the floor!"

The next day, the duck acts differently. First, he asks the bartender, "Ya got any nails?"

The bartender says, "No, this is a bar, not a hardware store."

The duck then asks, "Ya got any grapes?"

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box."

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!"

The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!"

 The word has returned. 

Don't be ludicrous 

Me, Konrad, and Morgan escaped to here pretty fast. We were in agreement that westeros.org was a fucking prison.