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Post by day dreamer on Jun 6, 2015 13:55:34 GMT
The "nipples betrayed her" comment in another thread got me thinking about this. What are the most awkward quotes and/or descriptions you've read in the ASOIAF series?
I laughed pretty hard at Asha's chapter in DwD when I read "her cunt became the world."
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2015 14:13:12 GMT
The "nipples betrayed her" comment in another thread got me thinking about this. What are the most awkward quotes and/or descriptions you've read in the ASOIAF series? I laughed pretty hard at Asha's chapter in FFC when I read "her cunt became the world." I believe that was in ADwD. Tyrion's dick, Dany's shit and the myrish swamp come to mind |
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Post by day dreamer on Jun 6, 2015 14:37:55 GMT
The "nipples betrayed her" comment in another thread got me thinking about this. What are the most awkward quotes and/or descriptions you've read in the ASOIAF series? I laughed pretty hard at Asha's chapter in FFC when I read "her cunt became the world." I believe that was in ADwD. Tyrion's dick, Dany's shit and the myrish swamp come to mind Ah, you're right. All the Iron Born chapters run together for me. Either way, that line is soap opera worthy. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2015 15:27:50 GMT
FAT PINK MAST.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2015 15:32:11 GMT
The description of Tyrions dick in aGoT.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2015 16:29:14 GMT
The scene in AFFC when (???) Frey is boning a wench in his tent, Jaime interrupts them and the girl feels the needs to "give his cock a little squeeze" on her way out. It really pulled me out of the scene and made me wonder what George felt that added.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2015 8:54:37 GMT
I'm not really someone who goes for book-sex. I know some people love sex in books and I don't mean to piss you all off... but for me when I read it I picture the author writing it instead of the scene itself. Which in GrrM's case makes for a particularly unpleasant image.  So, yeah, most of the above examples from ASOIAF made my skin crawl. Which isn't to say that GrrM can't make me feel extraordinarily attracted to certain characters like bookCersei and bookMelisandre who are just the fucking hottest...He does that extremely well. But the little details and fixations in the writing put me off. The image of GrrM getting his jollies is not one I want to have in mind. EVER. (Sorry GrrM). |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2015 9:33:59 GMT
I'm not really someone who goes for book-sex. Well it's probably illegal in most places, no matter how appealing a certain inanimate object may appear. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2015 9:37:13 GMT
I'm not really someone who goes for book-sex. Well it's probably illegal in most places, no matter how appealing a certain inanimate object may appear. |
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Post by kingeomer on Jun 7, 2015 12:43:38 GMT
This was the first thing I thought of. I really nearly threw up in my mouth reading that. GRRM could do much better than that description. Jeez, my kids could do better than that. |
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Post by Nezzer on Jun 9, 2015 23:22:10 GMT
13 year old Sansa describing Tyrion's ugly, thick and veined manhood, wih a bulbous purple head  |
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Post by day dreamer on Jun 24, 2015 12:14:01 GMT
Reek's "bent to his task" made me want to |
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Post by 7timesdamnedshewolf on Jul 9, 2015 8:50:34 GMT
I'm not really someone who goes for book-sex. I know some people love sex in books and I don't mean to piss you all off... but for me when I read it I picture the author writing it instead of the scene itself. Which in GrrM's case makes for a particularly unpleasant image. So, yeah, most of the above examples from ASOIAF made my skin crawl. Which isn't to say that GrrM can't make me feel extraordinarily attracted to certain characters like bookCersei and bookMelisandre who are just the fucking hottest...He does that extremely well. But the little details and fixations in the writing put me off. The image of GrrM getting his jollies is not one I want to have in mind. EVER. (Sorry GrrM). Well, with most books, the author is just someone on the book jacket, but it is hard to forget about GRRM. I remember Dany masturbating being particularly cringeworthy to think about him writing it, and that's even before Irri started helping her. There's also the problem that most of his sex scenes aren't sexy anyway. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2015 9:01:17 GMT
I'm not really someone who goes for book-sex. I know some people love sex in books and I don't mean to piss you all off... but for me when I read it I picture the author writing it instead of the scene itself. Which in GrrM's case makes for a particularly unpleasant image. So, yeah, most of the above examples from ASOIAF made my skin crawl. Which isn't to say that GrrM can't make me feel extraordinarily attracted to certain characters like bookCersei and bookMelisandre who are just the fucking hottest...He does that extremely well. But the little details and fixations in the writing put me off. The image of GrrM getting his jollies is not one I want to have in mind. EVER. (Sorry GrrM). Well, with most books, the author is just someone on the book jacket, but it is hard to forget about GRRM. I remember Dany masturbating being particularly cringeworthy to think about him writing it, and that's even before Irri started helping her. There's also the problem that most of his sex scenes aren't sexy anyway.This is the key point to be made here. I've read people counter-arguing against this point by saying "they're not supposed to be", which is true for some of them of course but there are some that absolutely are supposed to be sexy and REALLY fall short. Also I can't get the soundbite of GrrM saying "I like boobies" out of my head, when he brought up the South Park "wiener" jokes about him to a female interviewer and jokingly tried to refute its premise. Not that there's anything wrong with him uttering that sentence per se, god knows a lot of straight guys express the same sentiment much more crudely, it's just that it really works against what I've seen a ton of ASOIAF fans argue, that his sex scenes are meant to be more gritty and realistic than titillating. I remember a poster on ASOIAF reddit arguing that his sex scenes being brusque and unsentimental was some brilliant creative choice to do with the realities of his harsh setting...I really wanted to link that GrrM interview to him (though knowing the way certain posters tie themselves in knots, he'd probably say GrrM was satirizing some convention or another and being subversive in the interview...instead of just being a horny old fellow). |
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Post by 7timesdamnedshewolf on Jul 9, 2015 9:19:59 GMT
Well, with most books, the author is just someone on the book jacket, but it is hard to forget about GRRM. I remember Dany masturbating being particularly cringeworthy to think about him writing it, and that's even before Irri started helping her. There's also the problem that most of his sex scenes aren't sexy anyway.This is the key point to be made here. I've read people counter-arguing against this point by saying "they're not supposed to be", which is true for some of them of course but there are some that absolutely are supposed to be sexy and REALLY fall short. Also I can't get the soundbite of GrrM saying "I like boobies" out of my head, when he brought up the South Park "wiener" jokes about him to a female interviewer and jokingly tried to refute its premise. Not that there's anything wrong with him uttering that sentence per se, god knows a lot of straight guys express the same sentiment much more crudely, it's just that it really works against what I've seen a ton of ASOIAF fans argue, that his sex scenes are meant to be more gritty and realistic than titillating. I remember a poster on ASOIAF reddit arguing that his sex scenes being brusque and unsentimental was some brilliant creative choice to do with the realities of his harsh setting... I really wanted to link that GrrM interview to him (though knowing the way certain posters tie themselves in knots, he'd probably say GrrM was satirizing some convention or another and being subversive in the interview...instead of just being a horny old fellow).Lol, I take it you've seen his old blog post saying he spent the day watching Shae auditions and listing his mood as horny. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2015 9:22:37 GMT
Lol, I take it you've seen his old blog post saying he spent the day watching Shae auditions and listing his mood as horny. Yeah, I've seen that. I had it in mind when I saw that video of him showing Sibel Kikelli around Santa Fe and it added another layer of creepiness to it. 
The point being that GrrM is only human. Which the poster on ASOIAF reddit I referred to didn't seem to take into account.
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Post by Basil on Jul 9, 2015 9:46:40 GMT
As much as I love the books, I generally hate the way George describes sex and genitals (with a few exceptions, I thought the sex scene between Jon and Ygritte was done rather nicely). But yeah, the "fat pink mast" in particular sounds like something you would read in bad, slash fanfiction. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2015 11:10:21 GMT
Sam having sex.
Myrish swamp.
Cunt world.
Everyone at the fist of the first men piss themselves. Literally.
There are plenty more...
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Post by day dreamer on Jul 9, 2015 17:55:26 GMT
As much as I love the books, I generally hate the way George describes sex and genitals (with a few exceptions, I thought the sex scene between Jon and Ygritte was done rather nicely). But yeah, the "fat pink mast" in particular sounds like something you would read in bad, slash fanfiction. Jon and Ygritte's sex scene translated well on screen. I actually found it really cringe worthy when I read it ("You know nothing Jon Snoooooooooooooooow") but after seeing it on the show, it made me appreciate it a bit more. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2015 22:31:00 GMT
As much as I love the books, I generally hate the way George describes sex and genitals (with a few exceptions, I thought the sex scene between Jon and Ygritte was done rather nicely). But yeah, the "fat pink mast" in particular sounds like something you would read in bad, slash fanfiction. Jon and Ygritte's sex scene translated well on screen. I actually found it really cringe worthy when I read it ("You know nothing Jon Snoooooooooooooooow") but after seeing it on the show, it made me appreciate it a bit more. Compared to Sams sex scene it was fine. |
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